honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
oh yeah. preciate
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.