i always forget guys have bellybuttons
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
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Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE