I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
