a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
