I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
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