I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
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