By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
