no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
