I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.