these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later