woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?