If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
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i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Randomize