whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
