She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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