I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
