So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Drunk is not a location!
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
