Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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