How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
