Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
My brain says no but my pants say off.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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