my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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