Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Come share oat with me in your robe
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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