He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
