i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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