I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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