can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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