When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
no. you can't hotbox the world.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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