for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
