I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
