One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
