i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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