You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
