I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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