So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
he was CRYING into my vagina
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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