I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
