those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
