If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
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I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
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Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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