I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize