he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
