lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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