I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
