idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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