booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
