You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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