he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
