He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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