I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
