You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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