I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
