He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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