Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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