he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
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