They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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