well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize