But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
