At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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