so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Randomize
