i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
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Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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