I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
