he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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